Joy Comes Next...
Life gets hard and it doesn’t feel right; you’re busting for change and spinning wheels. Somedays feel like moving through quicksand, the gravitational pull is strong, bearing down on shoulders, heart, lungs. Breathing feels difficult, the struggle is silent but significant.
Joy comes next.
Moving through the motions of each day feels like little bites are gnawing into you. Every day feels like a turning wheel of sameness and change seems elusive. Masking pain becomes second nature, smiling on cue. Laughing at the right time. Navigating traffic, washing dishes, answering text messages. But inside the lights are switching off.
Joy comes next.
When you need to move your body and inertia is riddling the muscles. Small steps, little stretches. Promising yourself that just getting yourself there is all you need to do. Permission to feel shit again; to wallow if you do those five minutes of stretching. Bargaining with yourself. Some days that’s all you can manage before you crash into bed again.
Joy comes next.
Today you shower. Eat a piece of fruit. Absorb the flavours. Remind yourself that seasons come and go, fruits prosper then fade then return again in abundance. The sun moves from behind a cloud and you watch it filter through the prism; transforming the light, refracting it into little rainbows over the walls. Maybe you sit in the sun, maybe you watch nature from the window today.
Joy comes next.
An embrace. Warm and secure, it melts the ice somewhat. Tears well, water falls a little. The thaw allows warmth to penetrate your heart. Circling the dinner table, everyone chats about their day; positive, negative, what they’ve learned. “Today I ate ate three meals and showered. Cleaned the cat litter and sat outside for half an hour in the sun.” Gentle, quiet support is soothing and affirming. I am going to keep going.
Joy comes next.
This afternoon she said something unexpectedly funny and a spontaneous laugh bursts out of your throat. The sound feels both unrecognisable and familiar. The face creases into a relaxed state, the lungs breathe deeply. You take to the mat and yoga feels like waking up the body after hibernation.
Joy comes next.
Winter thaws, despite its deep hold on life. The sun begins to elongate the days and the body quietly unfurls. Possibility fills the spaces once filled with deep darkness. Plans are made. Reconnections to creativity, wonder and awe - rebirth. Energy and warmth fills the body, looking for expression. Laughter is easily found, humour returns and tears flow freely.
Joy returns.
May you be Safe
May you be Loved
May you be Well
Thanks for reading x
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